The shepherds of Israel were soundly denounced by Ezekiel because:

Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock.

The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty'-have ye ruled them. ¹⁵

Certainly we don't want to be classified as this type of shepherd. But if the extent of our counsel is merely 'Just say No!" or "Don't do it!" we are not fulfilling our mandate to feed the flock in the appropriate manner. Below are some general principles that will be especially helpful in counselling a brother, sister or friend who struggles not only with sexual problems but with all sin.

The Toolbox of the Biblical Counsellor

The goals of counselling and church discipline are fourfold:

1. overall welfare of the ecclesia
2. restoration of the sinner to righteousness
3. reconciliation between sinner and brethren and God ¹⁶
4. freedom from guilt and shame ¹⁷

There are five common words pertaining to "counsel" in the New Testament:

1. Parakaleo: to beseech, exhort, encourage, comfort (see Romans 12:1 ; Romans 15:30 ; 2 Corinthians 1:4; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
2. Noutheteo: to put in mind, warn, confront (Romans 15:14; 1 Corinthians 4:14; Colossians 3:16)
3. Paramutheomai-. to cheer up, encourage (1 Thessalonians 2:11; John 11:19,31)